Today is my firstborn son’s 6th birthday! A couple days ago I was cleaning up the kitchen thinking about how fast these first six years have gone.
People always tell you the years go by fast, but it’s hard to grasp the reality of it until you experience it yourself.
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My eyes teared up as I thought about all of the growth I’ve seen in him over the years. And as I reflected, I began to wonder why six was feeling so much harder than his first five birthdays.
Then it hit me…
6…
12…
18…
Turning six means he’s only 2/3rds away from turning 18. He is already one-third of the way to adulthood!
That thought is sobering.
It wakes you up to the reality of time.
It helps you reset your intentions.
I’ve always wanted to be a boy mom and the more these boys grow, the more thankful I am to raise and shape them— and honestly, the more I enjoy them.
When I was pregnant with our firstborn, I purchased a course by Lisa Bevere and Havilah Cunnington called, “Mom’s of Men.”
Lisa and Havilah have four sons each…FOUR! In this series, they share practically about how to raise godly men. With guest appearances by Lisa’s four adult sons (Havilah’s kids are young like mine at the time of this taping), they discuss everything from discipline to manhood to sexuality.
I have sloooowly been making my way through these lessons over the years and I find it’s a great resource to revisit as my children get older.
When it was first released in 2016, there wasn’t anything out like it for Christian women raising all boys. It was a refreshing resource that was much needed. Now, Lisa and Havilah have released this paid course as free-content on YouTube! Whoo hoo!
New Voices Emerging
Fast forward, nine years and this year, three women I actually know, released podcasts with their sons! Not only do all three of these women have three sons, but they are all podcasting with their middle sons!
Side Note: Honestly, watching their dynamics makes me want one more son, but we’ll see what the Lord says on that cause my pregnancies are historically a WHOLE wild and debilitating situation!
First of all, isn’t the name of their pod super cute and clever? I love a double meaning :) Chanda and I have known each other at least 10 years I can remember. She’s always openly shared about the craziness that is being the only female in a household of five. Laced with honesty and humor, Chanda and her recent college graduate son, Brandon share with no filter and it’s quite entertaining to watch.
Erika Brown and I connected in 2022 when Dex and I decided to join her real estate investors co-hort. She’s a BOMB mentor for us and so many other people of color who are looking to invest in real estate. She opted for the non-traditional unschooling route for most of her kids’s educational journey. For years she has shared her reasons and methods behind unschooling and one things for sure, her kids are not afraid to go after their dreams.
She sits down with her middle son, Jaxon to discuss culture, parenting and more. This one is for those who don’t feel as old as they actually are. Her Gen Z son consistently finds a way to expose their age gap. Watch here.
I first met Priscilla when I was 21 years old, a senior in college, soon about to graduate and navigate my way into for real adulthood. My father introduced us at a concert, I had no clue who she was beyond being her father’s daughter as that’s how my dad introduced us. I asked Priscilla a question related to something I was navigating as a PK (pastor’s kid) and soon-to-be-graduate. She graciously answered and honestly? For the last 18 years, she's pretty much been answering my questions one way or another, ever since.
Priscilla sits down with her middle son, JC, a current college athlete. Full Fledged is the baby of this podcast bunch being the most recent one to start, but episode one is already packed with some great takeaways and insights. It’s clear JC is taking the lead on this one in every way from casting the vision, naming the pod and setting up the cameras and mics. Watch here.
Looking Forward
These resources are examples of healthy, honest dialogue. And truly, they are showing how the investments in their son’s formative years are starting to pay off.
If I’m honest, getting the opportunity to watch these women talk to their 15, 20, and 23 year-old sons really feels like God spoiling me.
I mean, I’m literally in the top half of this journey, getting wisdom and insight from those at the end of, or already finished with, the first 18 years.
It’s putting me (and any other moms in the first third of this journey) at an advantage and helping me set intentions now.
My boys are just exiting toddler life and beginning to formulate their own little worlds.
I find myself staring at them sometimes as I attempt to savor these remaining 2/3rds of childhood.
Yesterday, as I picked up the toys off the floor (again) and de-cluttered their playroom for the 2nd time this year, I took notice of how they no longer play with certain toys as much because their interests are changing as they grow.
And with my oldest one leading the way into this second-third of childhood, knowing my second is only 18-months behind, I’m leaning in even more, asking more questions, and learning who they are beyond me just trying to get them to do what needs to be done in the moment.
I engage with their interests.
I ask them questions.
I dance and talk in funny accents with them.
I refer to myself as “Mommy Delicious” every time I cook a good meal that’s placed in front of them, and they pretend to hate it and beg me to stop while laughing :)
I ask them questions about God and their personal faith journey.
I let them tell me stories about school or their friends.
And I hope and pray as my sons grow, they’ll continue to willingly have open dialogue with me about any and everything.
Now, I’m not aiming to have these conversations with my sons on a public platform like these ladies, but it’s clear —the public outworking of these episodes are only happening because of daily, intentional decisions, cultivated in private over the years.
Let’s Talk About It
What are some ways you’re intentionally fostering healthy, honest, and open communications with your children? Would love if you shared their age and what seems to be working if you’re still raising them, or what has worked for you if you have adult children.
After you comment, be sure to check out all of these resources on YouTube! :)
Oh! Pen This with Kandis is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
