When God Says 'No' to Your Plans (And You're Grateful Later)

A Personal Reflection on Legacy, Vision, and #DFJ2025

Work is an interesting thing.

It’s a necessity cause ain’t nothin’ free in this world.

It’s consuming cause it often takes up so much of our time.

It’s a major part of our existence.

One of the projects my company has worked on for the past four years is called, Desperate for Jesus (DFJ).

DFJ is a Women’s Conference founded 21 years ago by Dr.Lois Evans for the women of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship.

Since it’s inception, it has grown into an annually sold out conference that simulcasts live to churches and gatherings all around the country. From it has spawned virtual workshops leading up to conference, a post-conference devotional, a conference APP, and more.

It is truly something special, but before talking about this weekend’s 21st Anniversary Edition of DFJ, I’d like to go back and share how I got here.

LEAVING MY DAD’S CHURCH

At age 28, I made one of the biggest and hardest decisions of my life. I decided to stop attending my Dad’s church. I felt like I needed to go somewhere where I could hide for a while and just “be.” I wanted to sit and be able to receive with ease.

I wanted to grow in ways that I couldn’t, being in a comfortable environment surrounded by people who’d known (and in many cases catered to) me and my family for as long as I’ve been alive.

I knew exactly the church I wanted to go to. It was big, it was predominately white, it was a place I likely wouldn’t run into many people I knew from my dad’s church.

I was set!

So I thought.

God stopped me in my dead-set ambitious tracks with a clear and confident, “No, go to Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship.”

I pushed back, “OCBF!! I don’t wanna go there!”

I had my list of reasons and at the top of that list was, “I don’t wanna see people who used to go to my Daddy’s church! People would know and recognize me there.”

So for those who don’t live in Dallas/Fort Worth, TX, let me pause and explain black church culture here. DFW is home to some of the largest churches. I mean, there’s one pocket of the city where five thriving black mega churches exist within just a few miles of each other. Like you can legit get to each of them in under 10 minutes..

People here are loyal and devoted to their churches. There’s a healthy respect, but when we start repping our church, the pride gets loud.

You can understand the type of person you’re talking to when you find out what church they go to in the city.

It’s not uncommon to have friends, family, and co-workers spread among these churches. On top of that, many of the pastors are friends, hosting special services where one church comes to visit and worship with another.

Another thing that happens is these churches sometimes end up sharing members. Someone may want to switch churches for whatever the reason, and often, they’ll choose one of the other churches.

You’ll meet people who 15-20 years ago used to be a member of this church, now they’re a member of another church. That kind of movement is not uncommon at all.

THE CHURCH GOD CHOSE FOR ME

So when the Lord told me to go to OCBF, I was not at all happy, thrilled, or on board with the idea, but I believe in obeying, even when I don’t fully understand.

So in obedience, I started attending. I’d go and sit at the top of the balcony so no one would see me and wait to leave out until I thought most of the crowd was gone.

One day, after a few months months of doing this, the Lord told me to go down to the floor after church and tell the pastor’s wife, Mrs. Lois Evans, that I was attending their church.

“You want me to do what?!”

I DID NOT want to tell her.

I sat in the balcony wrestling with the Lord about it as the sanctuary cleared of people. I watched and waited for Mrs.Evans to leave the sanctuary, but for some reason she lingered this day. There was no line to talk to her and she was clearly in no hurry to leave.

I kept thinking, “why is she still here?!” And Holy Spirit kept giving His instruction, “Go tell her you’re here.”

I eventually conceded. “Fine. I’ll go.”

I get down to the floor from the balcony and prepare myself to explain who I am (which I hate doing), not expecting her to recognize me.

“Hi Mrs.Evans, I’m…”

“Ohhh!!” she responded with a warm greeting of surprise.

I didn’t have to give a single explanation as to who I was or who my parents were.

She was surprised to see me, but knew exactly who I was, commenting on seeing things about me on my mom’s Facebook page.

I was relieved to evade the whole, “I’m Pastor Davis’s daughter” spill.

I let her know I’d been attending the church and she said, “you need to meet with me and pastor. I’ll have my assistant reach out to schedule something.”

I thought, “Great! I was obedient. I said something. They’re going to be too busy to meet with me and this will all be done. I have obeyed God and I can go back into hiding.”

Two hours later I had a meeting scheduled with them for the upcoming week.

MEETING WITH PASTOR & MRS.EVANS

I arrive at our meeting, still in shock that it’s happening and I’m wondering what we even need to meet about. I was just letting ya’ll know I was here!

I don’t need anything and I don’t want anything, besides knowing I’m spiritually covered and planted in a local church. I would like to just come and go and not talk to anybody, as I please.

They asked me a series of questions:

“Tell us about yourself.”

“Do your parent’s know you’re here?”

“How do they feel about it?”

“Why do you want to attend OCBF?”

“Have you observed anything we can improve on?”

These are just a few of the questions I can remember.

A bit later as we were wrapping up, I was given the instruction to join the church officially.

I obliged, but not without a few rebuttals cause do I reeeally need to stand in front of this church to publicly receive a right hand of fellowship?!

“Yes, you need to do the entire process,” I was instructed.

Oh, joy.

A couple weeks later I walked into the membership room after church and the first person who greeted me was a former member of my dad’s church.

Good times.

MRS. EVANS’S VISION

I’m going to skip ahead to get to the point of why I’m sharing all this. Mrs.Evans is the reason DFJ is as great as it is.

Her vision was so clear and she communicated it so well, that now 5 years after her passing and 11 years after me being a part of this conference, I still know what she would and wouldn’t like. I still know how to make decisions based on her intentionality and convey her heart for the women who attend and watch.

She brought me to the table, as the youngest and newest addition to the planning committee for DFJ 2014 and I haven’t left it since. Every year, for the past eleven years I’ve contributed to DFJ in different roles and capacities.

And In 2021, just one year after Mrs.Lois passed away, her daughter Chrystal asked if I wanted to produce DFJ 2022. I said, “Yes!” and for the past 4 years, I’ve had the honor of creatively leading, planning, and helping produce what has easily become my favorite event.

DFJ 2025: LEGACY

This year’s theme, Legacy, really made me pause and reflect. In fact, while writing this post, I remembered Mrs.Evans and I used to email from time to time.

I hadn’t thought to look at those emails again until writing this and now I’m in tears, grateful for the tangible evidence of her investment and legacy in my life.

Excerpt from Oct 30, 2014 email from Mrs.Evans

“We are so blessed personally and as a church to have you join us as a member. We are grateful to reap the benefits of the investment your parents made in your life and ministry.

I really appreciate you being such a vital and intricate part of DFJ 2014. We are grateful.”

Within this email she invited me back to serve for DFJ 2015 and from there, I was locked and loaded as an official committee member.

When Mrs.E passed away I realized we never took a picture together, but the influence she’s had on my life tells more of the story than a picture ever could.

This year, especially, I wanted it to feel like her. Her care. Her excellence. Her thoughtfulness. Her elegance. Her cultivation of others. Her love. Her legacy.

She made it inextricably clear that to do all this without Jesus is an absolute waste of time.

Glorifying God and getting His daughters into His presence was her number one priority. And she made it a point to make sure this was done with joy and laughter as well as depth and truth.

This year was special for everyone because it was the celebration of 21 years of DFJ, but it was particularly special for me in many personal ways.

For two-days, women from different seasons of my life, converged at this one place for refreshing and community.

My Childhood Church

Our cellist that played before the start of each conference day was a childhood friend of mine. I’ve gotten to see her play since she was 11 years old and now she is well-respected for her craft and people loved the music as they waited for conference to start.

My Mom directed the choir. She’s a member of OCBF now and she was the choir director at the church my dad pastored for a while. I always love getting to see her do what she loves again. And my mother-in-law, who was visiting from Kentucky, joined the choir for the weekend - talk about different seasons of life converging!

Niya, our worship leader for the weekend is like a sister to me. We’ve known each other since college and she was one of the worship leaders at my dad’s church for years. She is the most energetic worship leader I know! Praise and Worship is a whole workout when Niya is in the room.

My Chosen (for me, Lol) Church

OCBF is my chosen for me church family. Chosen for me cause the Lord picked them for me since He knew I wouldn’t. :) Over the 11 years I’ve been a part of this church body, I’ve developed some great relationships with folks who just feel like family.

It’s always great to be with and serve with them. Our times together are even more meaningful now that we’re attending a new church (that’s a post for another day that’s currently sitting in my drafts).

My Current Church

We recently started attending a new church where my husband is on staff and I invited the women in our small group to come to conference. They made a whole weekend out of it and got a hotel room. Two of the women were gone by the time we connected for our group picture. They had the best time!

My Going Beyond Friends

Years ago, me and this bunch used to work together on an event called Awaken, hosted by Going Beyond Ministries. Although the event no longer happens, the love and bond we all share remains deep. Plus, Shannon (pictured right) and I were friends before all that even happened.

My Book Club Crew

Last year I decided to start a book club to go through Dr.Sarita Lyons’s book, Church Girl. Most of us live in Texas with the exception of our two international members in London and Canada. So the whole Texas crew decided to attend conference since 3 of us were already planning to be there. One of the members drove from San Antonio to be with us for the weekend!

My Bestie & My New Producer Twin

My bestie from high school, Andrea (right), introduced me to a new friend, Steph (left), she met several months ago. Their kids go to the same school and she’s a producer who just moved to Texas from LA.

For two years I’ve prayed for a producer partner who was local, available, and could help carry some of the load I usually have.

Steph was the answer to that prayer. She helped produce a few things alongside me this year and she’s now officially my Producer Twin cause we worked SO well together and our visions/ideas aligned quite quickly!

My Oh! Crew

And of course the Oh! Crew was in the building lending additional support to the church’s media team. It’s always a great time when we get to work together. They are my co-workers, crew, friends, and family all rolled into one :)

So much love was in the room!

THE LEGACY OF A VISION

DFJ is special. It’s always been a place for practical wisdom and cross-generational impact. For years it’s cultivated encouragement, hope, honest conversations, and joy among those who attend.

And in honoring Dr. Lois Evans’s legacy while also celebrating 21 years of the conference this year, it became very clear to me…

She had a vision and in many ways, we’re still catching up to it.

Register to watch the conference replay now until 11:59 p.m. CT on Saturday, August 31, 2025.